Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
