they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
