shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
