the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
