No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
