yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
