Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
