period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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