McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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