so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
