I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
