Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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