dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
