I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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