Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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