oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
