My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
