i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
