Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
