We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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