At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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