I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
