You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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