Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
