had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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