my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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