Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
