so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
