If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
