Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
