Whod you bang
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
