How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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