My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
