things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I love having hate sex.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
