how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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