Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
