He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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