why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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