I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
