i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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