I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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