Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
