Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
