Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
