Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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