She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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