Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
