Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize