Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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