just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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