I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
