You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
