god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Pants are for mortals
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize