But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
