I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
