You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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