If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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