wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
