And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
