Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
