I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
