Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
sex in a hospital.. check
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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