im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
