All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
