After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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