Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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